Courage

You wake up in the morning, groggy. You wipe your eyes with your hands, stand up, and proceed in the direction of the bathroom. You catch a glance at the mirror hanging on the wall. You hardly recognize yourself. Ever since...well ya know. 

But sex is just apart of growing up- right? You're an adult when you have sex, right? 

Still looking in the mirror you hear a little voice whisper in your heart, 

"What have you done?"

You turn away from the mirror, unable to even look at yourself. 

"What have you done?"

I mean you both said it was okay...you just got lost in the heat of the moment...

"What have you done?"

You can't take it anymore. You rush into the bathroom, plug your i-pod into the speakers on the counter and turn the volume all the way up. There. That'll quiet that whisper you keep hearing.

You turn on the shower in an attempt to wash yourself of your mistakes. 

But no matter how many showers you take- that same feeling and pain never goes away.

You still wake up feeling dirty.

What if the shame of past mistakes never stop?

"After I lost my virginity I didn't respect myself, and one empty relationship led to another. Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted the perfect love, but after all I had done I thought I was the last person on earth to deserve it. Eventually, I realized that finding a good guy wasn't a matter of luck. After starting over, I raised my standards, and made a commitment to chastity. Now, three years later-and engaged- I haven't regretted a day since." - Crystal Evert

So what happens next? Is it too late? Is your brain permanently molded and there is no hope for a happy future? Unfortunately, no one can change what has happened in the past. What's done is done. But regardless of what happened last week or last year, you are still worth waiting for. Maybe you lost your virginity or maybe it was taken from you, either way you still have yourself to give.

It's time to start a new chapter. 

1. Reclaim your virginity.

This is sometimes called "secondary virginity" and can be done by changing your behavior and setting new standards in future relationships. It is more than just saying "no" to sex. It includes changing your entire lifestyle. And trust me, a lot of people will be shocked by such a change. However, in the long run, it will be worth it. By making the choice to wait until you are married to have sex, you are saying YES to love and you're thinking about your future husband. Another option with secondary virginity which I personally am a fan of is buying a white candle. It sounds sort of cheesy but you can give the white candle to your husband on your wedding night to show that you may not be a virgin, or entirely pure- but at some point in your life, you starting thinking about him and chose to make a change in your life for him. 

Most importantly, in your heart- forgive those who have hurt you and forgive yourself! 

2. Avoid difficult situations

This could mean avoiding a party or group of people that are involved in sexual activity. I know it sounds sort of harsh but once you make the decision to stay a virgin, it will be very tempting to fall back into those old patterns. So it is very important that you surround yourself with people who will help you with your decision instead of trying to tempt you back to your old ways. Be sure to find supportive and loving friends who will remind you of the new goal that you have made. 

3. Work through your past

I understand that many young girls and guys may not have chosen to give up their virginity and instead it was taken from them. Scenarios like those absolutely break my heart and tears me to pieces. So for those of you who are reading this and that is your pain that you carry with you daily- know that there is hope. You may be left with the painful psychological scars of sexual abuse or manipulation and are working to try to become whole again and i applaud you. It is all about working through the past and looking, with your chin up, to the future. 

Please understand that none of these scenarios have an easy button. None of them are easy. It is not easy to change yourself, and the path will be very difficult. 

However, if you want love to be as good as it gets- you have to persevere. You have everything to gain, and you will have NO more regrets. You know why?

It's because purity knows no regrets.

In an age where it seems that everything is pointed towards instant gratification- chastity proclaims a challenge of sacrifice and patience. Plus, God would never call us to a lifestyle that was impossible. He gives us the grace to live it out! 

The devil promises much but gives nothing. 

So turn away from what the world promises you- because those promises are all empty and will never make you feel whole. 

Most importantly, living purity will heal your past. 

So, in closing, I challenge you to have the courage to change your life now. YES! TODAY! Think about your future wife or husband and make a change. I would never want to bring myself to the man that I love and give him the scraps or my purity that every guy that I had been with had their way with. When you love someone you want to give them the BEST of everything- including yourself.

If you have any questions or comments- don't hesitate to e-mail me at mycupofcoco@gmail.com