Awkward Encounters with the Most High

Everyone sits in Mass with their hands folded, all prim and proper. Girls are sporting the latest fashion trends while the guys have on their polished shoes. People walking back from communion might as well be a cat-walk. 

"I like her dress....OH! I LOVE THOSE SHOES!...I like that blouse..."

or if you're an MRS. degree...

"He's cute. I like him. He's cute. OH. HE'S CUTE. Oh my goodness so cute. He's so attractive. Does he even go here? Doesn't matter. He's cute."

 And there I am. Looking barely put together, boogers still in my eyes, straining to listen to what is happening in mass. 

I'm lucky if I remembered to put on a bra that day. 

Not only that...but I'm a huge clutz. 

If it is glass, I will break it.

 If it is expensive, I will lose it. 

If it is valuable I will probably ruin it. 

So why would Mass be any different? 

It's not just me though. TONS of people have had embarrassing moments in Mass. It's a pretty common thing. Because when you are trying to be perfect for the Lord...sometimes things don't always work out in your favor. 

Speaking from personal experience...

I always sit front row during Mass because I am new to the Catholic Faith and I really like to know EVERYTHING that is happening. So, I'm sitting in the front pew, excited to receive Jesus. Finally, It's my turn to get up to get in line for communion. I'm standing in line, looking all reverent,  still SUPER pumped to receive Jesus. I actually get so excited during mass that sometimes I start to shake. Well I think no problem. I'll just have the priest place Jesus on my tongue. I do exactly that and then I'm in line to receive the cup. Before I know it, it's my turn. Still shaking, I take the cup from the Eucharistic Minister's hands and out of excitement tilt the cup up a little bit too far... 

Before I know it, Jesus is streaming down both sides of my mouth...all over the floor. I feel like "Let it Rain" should have been playing in the background. I hand the cup back. The Eucharistic minister is looking at me with complete horror. In fact, the entire church was looking at me with complete horror. Panicked, I begin wiping my mouth with my hands, trying to save Jesus but then I just end up looking like some sort of animal licking it's paws. 

I spilled Jesus all over the ground, all over my face, and all over my shirt.

If they can start giving out Jesus in a sippy-cup, that'd be great because I clearly can NOT HANDLE BEING AN ADULT.

Anyway. I'm not the only one with an embarrassing Mass story. Here are a few others:

"When I was visiting a college, I went to morning Mass with a girl I was shadowing. Unfortunately, I slept in and ended up skipping breakfast. The whole time I was sitting through mass I started feeling famished and by the time I had to get up for communion I was feeling incredibly weak. I managed to receive communion okay but on the way back to my seat I fell to my knees in the middle of the aisle and I looked to the man on the end of the pew for assistance. Instead of looking at me with concern and helping me stand, he faced his palm towards me and started praying over me with a look that said, 'Wow she's so holy.' Apparently, he thought I was being slain in the spirit instead of passing out from hunger."

-Marilynn from Pinckney, MI

"So my hair is like supes long and supes straight and it definitely gets in the way of too many daily activities. (Seriously Rapunzel how do you do it??) So one day, at Mass, I went up to receive Jesus Christ in the most Holy Sacrament of the Eucharist, and I might have bowed a little late and a little too low and so when I came back up ready to kiss my King, most of my hair was in my face. I tried sweeping it away hastily but to no avail. I usually receive on the tongue and I was already panicking in the moment. Father placed the host in my mouth… AND ON TOP OF MY HAIR! So as I stepped aside and blessed myself with my mouth full of grace and hair, I had to awkwardly pull my hair from my mouth without losing Jesus... As the entirety of the congregation is watching me. I wish I could say that is the only embarrassing thing that has happened to me during Mass, but it's definitely in the top 5..."

-Ana from Philadelphia, PA

 “Once the women reading the gospel began to pick her nose in front of the entire parish. Me and my dad saw it and had to silently laugh to ourselves but it was hilarious! We were crying! And it went on for a while! She was really digging in there…”

-Kim from Bethel Park, PA

"All four of us were born in less than 5 years, and when my youngest brother was born my dad was deployed to Japan. My mom was basically a superhero and took all 4 of us to Mass by herself every week. For the most part she was able to keep us somewhat contained, but one Sunday my sister managed to break out of the pew. Before my mom had even noticed she was gone, Maria had wandered up to the front of the church and casually pulled off her diaper in front of the choir/congregation. And she doesn't remember what happened after that.

But Maria's still alive and they probably didn't leave the diaper there... I mean hopefully."

-Emily from Fairfax,VA

"When I was a young girl I went to Good Friday mass with my family. I had this little rag doll named Emily that I took with me everywhere, including Mass. During the gospel, I was sitting on the kneeler and using the pew like a work bench. I laid out my doll and whispered (in that little kid think-you're-whispering-but-actually-yelling way), "Now Emily, this is reeeeaaaaalllllyyyy gonna hurt." I proceeded to make obnoxious noises and pretended to nail Emily to the pew like you would crucify a person, hands out and feet together. I vividly remember looking up and seeing the faces of the people behind me, struggling to not laugh out loud. It was real awkward when I grew up and some people still remembered this weird little stunt of mine."

-Ellie from Bradenton, FL

"Well a friend of mine walked in and sat down and preceded to kneel to pray before Mass began. A moment later a girl came up to her and said 'your dress is in your underwear'... She then prayed that The Lord would erase this from everyone who might have seen her and now has this memory and thanked Him for the fact she wasn't wearing a thong." 

ALSO

"My friends Alice and Chris were in Mass and at the sign of peace it is understood that they will reenact the awkward sign of peace as most people do this smoothly when it comes to this time. As they chuckled to themselves after this Alice glanced over and Chris was smiling with his fist on his chest. She saw this and was slightly confused but gave him the good old fist bump it seemed she was being prompted to give. Chris looked at her very confused and laughed and continued to hold his fist to his chest. Alice took this as a prompt to fist bump harder, his confusion must have been that that the first one was a wimpy fist bump. After this she realized that Chris had his fist to his chest in response to the 'Lamb of God' and not suggesting a friendly fist bump..." 

-Mary from Dallas, PA

"Once, I was at the end of the pew at Mass with my family. I put the kneeler down but didn't look and totally missed the kneeler and fell into the aisle while everyone was quiet and kneeling. My sister will never let me live that down."

-Michelle from Bethel Park, PA

As you can see, embarrassing moment happen. Even in Mass. 

This month, I want to challenge everyone to do two things.

1. Laugh when seemingly bad things happen. It's isn't the end of the world and your story might even end up on someone's blog someday! 

2. Do not judge people in the way that they act or dress in Mass. It's isn't a competition. I fall victim to this week after week, so don't think that it isn't an uncommon thing. It's difficult to keep your eyes completely fixed on Jesus. I know. But try to at least not to compare yourself to other people. (Hence the beginning of this blog...hello. bringing it all home here people!) It's poison to compare yourself to other people because everyone is COMPLETELY different. Love people. Don't compare.