Sexy Bacon

So Halloween is coming up, which happens to be one of my favorite holidays because i love to dress up and put on crazy makeup. I guess it's a way for me to release my inner weirdness without strange looks or anyone questioning me. So i like to dress up as things like scooby-doo, a nerd, an old lady, a flapper..ext. Pretty average stuff- right?
however, something that really grinds my gears is the "sexy" Halloween aisle at every costume store. What are you doing??!!! Stop. Let's just take a second to think about the choices that are available in this aisle.

Imagine for a moment you happen to walk past the row of "sexy" costumes, some things you'll probably see include sexy fire woman, sexy nurse, or sexy witch. But apparently those are just too mainstream for the people who are creating the "sexy" costumes for these "sexy" women. So now there are costumes that include sexy ghost, sexy cat, and sexy schoolgirl. No. Nope. just stop. Please, do us all a favor and just cool it with all the sexy.

No.

But since they seem to be making so much money off of all of these costumes that make women feel so sexy when they put them on- I've decided to create my own line of sexy costumes. These are gonna knock your socks off. So I'm thinking sexy tree, sexy lamp-post, sexy cell phone, sexy bacon, sexy rug, and sexy-sexy. Because we live in such a sexual world already- why not make everything sexy- right?
and F.Y.I. sexy bacon is a real costume.

She's super sexy draped in bacon.

Ladies, you know what is really sexy and attracts men ? How about some confidence. Put away your sexy costumes for a year and throw on some confidence. Wear something goofy that says "Yeah i look like a fool but I'm so confident that it really doesn't matter what people think of me." There's plenty of options. 

So please, please, please- show others the respect you deserve and don't dress like a piece of meat this Halloween- you'll get thrown on the BBQ.